 Hardcore Neutrality
Hardcore Neutrality
Cheese Club has  returned, this time with revenge, vengeance, more revenge, a club with  nails in it and a glass of wine.  Oh, it's had sand kicked in its face  by a buff lifesaver before, but now it's back with cheeses strong and  ruthless enough to melt your head from the inside out.  So surrender  now, before Cheese Club gets all fromagier on your arses (or "asses" for  our American friends).
 Perigord goo
Perigord goo
 - After the damning-with-faint-praise  disappointment of the 
Le  Chevrot during the last Cheese Club goat experience, expectations  weren't high for the Besace.  Expectations weren't helped by the sight  of this ugly, abstract beast of a cheese.  Between the normal wrinkles  of a surface-ripened goats cheese; a light dusting of ash; a  protuberant,  translucent layer of soft-ripened flesh; and a shading of  blue and grey mould over the surface, this cheese would strike terror  into the weak of heart.  But not into mine, oh no.  And lo, I was  rewarded, for this is a cheese of Perigord and 0f glory.  Although it  had a modest heart of chalky fudge, it was mostly surface-ripened  gooeyness.  It was light on the goat tang (while still being balanced)  and rich in the layers of mould and flavour.  Oh, I love this.... Oh...  Oh... I'll umm... stop now.  People are watching.
 Oh lord... Less than pretty.   But so wonderful...
Oh lord... Less than pretty.   But so wonderful...
 - As regular  readers (I'll return your mower on Sunday) will know, I'm historically  not a big fan of the surface-ripened white-moulders, but you know what?   I'm beginning to come around.  We've had some great ones (the 
Brie  de Nangus in particular) with deep, earthy flavours, and 
this  Camembert is close to its equal in raw power.  Still with a stripe of  chalky crumblation in the center, it was soft but firm with a rich  flavour of mushrooms and cauliflower.  This is glorious, but in a  relaxed way.  It's still got a week before it ripens properly but still,  eh? Eh?
 I want to believe
I want to believe
 - This episode of Cheese Club was turning  into a lesson of surprising power, but  this is the exception that  proves the rule.  Washed rind in name; washed rind in appearance but  white-moulder in taste.  Weirdly, this was a far milder cheese than the  Camembert.  A glorious orange tint underneath a white-mould fuzz, this  looks like a small Camenbert that's been inadvertently tinted.  And  that's what it tastes like.  It has a subtle washed-rind stink (if  that's not a contradiction in terms), but once you taste it you wonder  where all that smell went to.  This still has some chalk in the centre,  so I'll give this one a couple of weeks and see what happens.  Sweet  packaging by the way: it nestles softly in a plywood sunflower.   Awwwwwww.
 Nothing to fear here
Nothing to fear here
 - 
Coolea is an Irish, cow's milk  cooked curd cheese in a Dutch style.  Obviously.  This was a couple of  years old and was a luscious, buttery cheese with an intense nutty and  caramel flavour.  It still has a little cooked-curd smoothness, but with  an almost imperceptible grain.   It's not as an intense as the 
Lindenhoff,  and thus isn't subject to enforceable 
standoff  distances, but it is still wonderfully intense.  Deep without being  scary, like 
Radio National.   Wash it down with a Toohey's Old or a 
3  Ravens smokey one.
 Coolea than you'll ever be
Coolea than you'll ever be
- I have this ongoing problem  reconciling my Cheese Club experiences with the proclaimed neutrality  of the Swiss.  This picturesque, peace-loving, clock-making nation,  supposedly wielding nothing more dangerous than an implement designed to  remove stones from horse's hooves, produces 
cheeses  that our Aunt Agatha describes as "total ball-tearers".  Of course,  aunts have changed since 
Bertie  Wooster had them, but these cheeses haven't.  And 
L'Etivaz has all of the rich,  grinding gorgeousness of an older, more voluptuous hard cooked curd  cheese.  Swiss cows that live downstairs in chalets; milk cooked over  wood fires; banks that respect anonymity.  What a life...
 L'Etivaz.  Stand well back.
L'Etivaz.  Stand well back.
 - Carrying on this  edition's focus on intensity and approachability, the 
Crozier Blue is a blue  sheep's milk cheese from Tipperary, meaning the UK is effectively  surrounded by tart Roquefort-style cheeses, both East and West.  I'd be  surrendering pretty much straight away if I was them, hopefully to be  welcomed into the creamy acidity.  Lovely blue tart balanced with a soft  texture, buttery but light.  Again, a cheese intense but not  overwhelming.  This is an excuse to open a bottle of something sticky,  and so I shall.
 Crozier Blue. Nothing to add.
Crozier Blue. Nothing to add.